The bus ride to Dubrovnik is a treat in and of itself. It’s a tour of the stunning landscape. Nearing midday, I resist the heat-induced drowsiness so I don’t miss a thing. I regret not sitting on the East-side of the coach, which has the best views. I make sure to rectify this oversight on the return journey.
There are many spots I’d like to hit in central-Dubrovnik but I retain a degree of flexibility. I plan to spread my excursions over the coming days. I pick up a three-day pass with access to local transport, select sites and eateries. As I head out of the tourist office to the gate of the Old City, I stop to compliment a lovely Franco-African family.
I’ll hear a lot of French during this trip, with many of the Francophonie also choosing to holiday in Croatia at this time. It’s useful practice, especially when so many Slavs are proficient English speakers. I try to learn some survival Serbo-Croat ('Hvala', 'Adio') and resist the instinct to default to my first or second language when saying ‘thank you’ or ‘bye’. I find a rough-edged appeal in the sonority of Slavic languages.
At the entrance to the walls is a man in period costume playing soulful-jazzy guitar with a loop machine. I pause to commend him. He introduces himself as Bruno. He's so appreciative of my acknowledgement, explaining he’s used to tourists just passing by. He advises me to stock up on water from one of the local vendors, rather than get ripped off in the Old Town.
I decide to begin my Dubrovnik excursion in earnest at the famous city walls. It’s close to 1pm- still high noon in the 30-something degree Celsius heat. The man at the ticket office is good-natured in a cheeky manner. He wonders out loud why I’d embark on the steep climb given the hot weather and time of day.Come back at sunset, he advises.
Not possible, I explain, with my bus schedule. I laugh about him not being a good salesman.
I don’t care about that. It’s about protecting yourself.
It gives me a chance to burn off those breakfast calories, I protest.
However, as soon as I start climbing I realise my folly. The ticket collector also neglects to tell me that the walls are supposed to be scaled in one direction only; counter-clockwise. It doesn’t occur to me, even when the vast majority of tourists are walking in the opposite sense. It’s only when I stumble across a French-language guide that I’m made aware of the error.
Well, I have always beaten to the sound of my own drum.
I’m told later by restaurant staff that it’s for safety reasons, particularly when there’s a crowd. By fluke, I arrive at a time when the rush hour starts to slow down because of the heat.
I sweat profusely throughout the ramble. It mingles with my make-up and stings my eyes. I am sure a history of acne means I perspire more than the average. My mild vertigo also kicks in at times, particularly when I see there’s little between me and a sharp drop. There’s a hairy moment when I slip on some smooth paving. When I do reach safer ground, no longer worried about tumbling to my death, I stop to admire the gorgeous topography. Byzantine influences are detectable in the architecture. The sepia coloured roof tiles complement the coastal views and surrounding mountains. Lokrum and other islands can be glimpsed in the near-distance. I feel blessed. I can’t resist taking pictures, even if it’s just on my humble feature phone.
I notice a difference in tourists I pass. The Anglophones tend to be friendlier.
By the time I’ve walked the circumference of the mediaeval rampart and stopped off for refreshments, the day is fast spent. I want to return to the Guesthouse for a siesta before dinner. I make my way back to the Old City gate. There’s enough time to walk down the Stradun main street and visit the Cathedral. The other attractions will have to wait for another day.
I return home to do a little life admin, shower and a change of outfit for dinner. I have decided on a nearby restaurant that has live music during summer. They say they are fully booked, save for some choice seats overlooking the bay and with a clear view of the stage. The kindly staff make it sound like a commiseration prize.
The service is excellent. A good-looking waiter, young enough to be my son (if I were a youthful mum) shows me to my seat. My main waiter, Andrej, keeps me entertained, giving honest menu recommendations. He’s keen on the duck and the lamb. I opt for the former, with the latter to look forward to another evening. The meat is impressively tender even if the ‘secret’ sauce just tastes like a particularly salty Bisto gravy. The music begins towards the end of my delicious starter. In between bites I’m reading a superb entry from this year’s Caine Prize for African Writing. If the singing is just adequate, the guitarist compensates. In any case, both vocalist and accompaniment deserve more consideration from the crowd. For most of the set, I’m the only one applauding.
I’m not in a rush. I finally settle the bill and head out towards the bay for a brief after-dark stroll.
The morning of my birthday itself, I have set my mind on a full timetable. I tend to avoid scheduling any significant excursions on the day itself, as I’d be more sensitive if things went awry. I do intend to resume where I left off in Dubrovnik’s Old City. I want to spend time in still, sacred spaces like the various monasteries sprinkled across the town.
Best wishes start to trickle in via text or email. I’m pleasantly surprised by some. One French acquaintance reaches out on my UK number.
I have a strange relationship with my birthday, having been coy in the past about mentioning the date but still expecting others to make an effort. It’s for that reason I would hesitate to give the precise date. I’d be offended if it were forgotten, therefore better the other party be ignorant than indifferent.
At breakfast, I allow myself the extra slice of bread and another small croissant. Sis leaves me a voice note of birthday greetings and hopes I won’t feel lonesome. I head off to catch the bus into town. I’m excited by the thought of the blissful scenery en route.
I hold on to being 39 until two minutes to midday BST, when I officially came into the world in July 1981. To an extent, my neurosis about this milestone echoes what I felt in my late 20s. The difference being that much of it dissipated by the time I turned 30. Not so much this year. In the weeks leading up to my 40th, I do the predictable mental inventory of all the disappointments and what remains unfulfilled. 40 stands out amongst milestones either side of it. Sis maintains that even if one had hit all their personal benchmarks, there would be pause for thought. None of my acquaintances who have celebrated the mid-life mark in recent years has done so lightly. A friend who turned 40 earlier in the year assured me that the pressure eases up on the other side.
My first stop in the Old Town is a church next to the Franciscan monastery. The coolness and tranquillity is what I am after. Yet the quiet leaves room to entertain darker thoughts. I think with resentment of all the acquaintances for whom I remember their birthdays year in, year out and have never even bothered to ask about mine. It’s not even as simple as fair-weathered vs. loyal. There are the usual suspects who already set the bar pretty low. There are others whom I’d consider better friends and from whom I expect more. On the other hand, I tell myself, I wouldn’t want to do a kindness forever in hope of reciprocity. It taints the gesture. My mind wanders yet again to discontent both personal and in relation to the world at large. My wiser side implores me to allow myself a mental break, at least for today. I try to turn these inner grumblings into some form of prayer.
Spending longer in the church than I planned, I finally slip out to the monastery next door. My access-(almost)-all-areas pass affords me free entry. The grounds, including one of the oldest pharmacies in Europe and a museum, are far more modest in size than I anticipate. I bristle at an exhibition dedicated to a Croatian monk working in the DRC. It screams white-saviour-complex. Someone has taken the trouble to correct the errors in the French-language explanatory text with a marker.
Neo-colonial displays aside, there is an appealing serenity to the Franciscan monastery. I aim to find similar pleasant solitude in the Dominican monastery further up the Stradun. On the way, I permit myself to roam aimlessly along the sun-drenched, pretty mediaeval streets. I take detours up narrow stairways and through arches, once in a while stumbling upon some more beautiful scenery. I pay too much for a bland smoothie and am deterred from buying a snack at a bakery by the dismal customer service.
I pick up some reasonably-priced trinkets at the outdoor market, a stone’s throw from the Dominican’s.
When I eventually arrive at the monastery, I find that my 3-Day pass affords a discount but not free entry. I’m apprehensive about parting with more money. A friend - to my knowledge, not miserly- mentions his positive experience in Dubrovnik being marred by the extortionate prices. He’s not wrong. I find myself constantly doing conversions from Kunas to Euros or Pounds in my head or on my calculator. I decide nonetheless to cough up the equivalent of 3 euros for the entrance fee. I’m less interested in the museum’s artefacts than the peacefulness. I do a perfunctory visit around the exhibition halls before taking some time out in the courtyard, where orange trees relinquish over-ripe fruit.
The next stop is Lokrum island. It’s worth it for the boat ride, even if the island itself is more jungle-esque than I was aware.
There are signs of civilisation. Swimmers abound. Sunbathers sprawl out like mermaids on flat rocks. A couple of bars are ensconced in the tropical-looking trees. It’s not unusual to see a family of peacocks strutting around. I stop off for lunch in a café playing some attractive lounge music. I order a slightly more indulgent afternoon meal than usual (not hard) but not as much as the occasion demands. I hope one of the staff can point me to the Benedictine monastery, provided I don’t have to hack through the vegetation to reach it.
I find time to Skype sis. She’s bemused by my reaction to old geezers in scandalously small swimming trunks.
I am pleased to discover that the Benedictine monastery isn’t far from my current location. On my way, I make peace with not having time to do all I had on my mental list. I switch on some EWF; the ideal soundtrack for my blissful adventures. I discover Lokrum’s own version of the Dead Sea and once again envy the swimmers taking advantage of the natural pools and lagoons. I use the opportunity to tan my legs, which don’t get much exposure to sunlight.
No time. I need to catch the ferry back to town. Besides, I don’t have the gear.
He mentions the nudist beach I almost had the misfortune to innocently walk into earlier. I frantically wave away his suggestion, more from prudishness. I only fully realise what he was insinuating after we’ve said farewell.
The views from the ferry back to town seem even more sumptuous as early evening totters towards sunset. I capitulate to true indulgence with two – not one, but two-amazing ice cream lollies in the Old Town.
On the way to catch the last bus back to Slano, I stop to chat to my new friend Bruno. He of the loop machine and sweet guitar improv. I ask if he can play me a song for the occasion. I regret the request when he starts singing the traditional birthday song.
Do you know the Stevie Wonder version?
I don’t like doing covers.
Bruno tells me I don’t look my new age and knocks off 10 years. I can’t complain.
He’s glad for the company and gives me a parting sideways hug. I worry he's getting the wrong impression. He’s amiable and attractive but I’ve never been one for holiday flings.
As I head to the main bus station, I look forward to sun set bus rides, drinking in those amazing vistas and a lamb supper at a local restaurant.
Soundtrack: Good People Remixes by MF Robots, All'n'All by Earth, Wind & Fire
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